The suspension of disbelief ends

The Muschamp Era:

Our Suspension of Disbelief Ends

I began writing this column before the news broke regarding the dismissal of Will Muschamp but the column still works in my estimation. Although technically this should be that most painful Sunday morning for me, given that we have been completely eliminated from the chase to represent the East in the SEC Championship game, that most painful Sunday occurred after the bizarre homecoming loss this year to Missouri. Even after this crazy loss to Carolina, I was still hoping against hope that the game would wind up being a most irrelevant defeat. Others in my family, long ago dissatisfied with the Muschamp era, feared that very outcome.

So let me take you back to yesterday and walk up to the news of the Sunday dismissal.

If you followed my Twitter timeline yesterday during the game, you know I got a bit vulgar. I hate losing to Steve, I hate seeing Steve coaching an SEC opponent, I hate seeing Steve walking Florida Field wearing Garnet and Black.

Okay?

You also would know that I have a very bad vibe at the start of the contest, like most you likely did. It appeared Steve had some good scripted plays that took advantage of us and it didn’t appear that we had an effective counter. The excitement of Treon’s first home start obviously affected him, and he made some early poor throws.

But then everything settled down, and it appeared victory was ours.

Except that it wasn’t. And I went ballistic. My closing tweet for the night said, “There goes my Saturday.” Because I’ve been traveling and either at our games or watching at a sports bar, etc., I watched this game from the comfort of my home. I was so agitated after the game was over, I knew I needed to get the hell out of the house and away from football.

So, I headed out to Tallahassee Mall and chose a movie to watch – alone. I chose Interstellar. My review? When you ask me to suspend my disbelief so broadly, it would be nice if you sufficiently thought out some of the atmospherics to help me accept the premise of the flick. They didn’t do that. So I found the flick far too navel-gazing for my tastes. Honestly, it’s a damn mess, but mess is what I’ve come to expect from Hollywood. That said, I have to admit the movie had its moments and I wouldn’t say it was a bad flick; in fact, I’d probably agree it’s more good than bad.

But is that sufficient? Does more good than bad equate to mediocrity?

So . . . my reaction to Interstellar segues nicely, however, to my next section and the fact that I’m relating it to the current state of Gator football should be informative.

Suspend Your Disbelief, Gators

What follows is an explanation detailing why I thought my reaction to Interstellar was similar to my reaction to Gator Football right now. I am a “give the benefit of the doubt” kind of Gator, as this fictionalized Q. & A. I had with myself this morning will likely prove.

Questioner: Gator football, Gator football, Gator football. It threw you for a serious loop yesterday and I’m wondering where’s your head this morning, Rattler?

RattlerGator: Mentally, I’m a bit exhausted. We (and our football program) are, unfortunately, in a position where we have no choice but to suspend our disbelief at the football season that is unfolding before us. It’s a weird, rollercoaster of a year that follows the most bizarre Gator football season of my adult life. I’m working very hard to keep that uppermost in my mind.

Questioner: In your honest opinion, is our football program in an irretrievable state of disarray and failure?

RattlerGator: Objectively? No. Subjectively? We unquestionably were after the Missouri game and we unquestionably weren’t after the Georgia game. We seemed to be completely over the hump for Gators like me who look to give the benefit of the doubt to this coaching staff and recognize the extraordinarily odd circumstances that have occurred during their tenure. Add to this these facts: [1] the road win at Vanderbilt, and [2] Treon’s apparent ability to run, and [3] pass and [4] do some minimal level of reading our opponent’s defenses at the line of scrimmage, along with [5] completing some downfield passes all served to solidify things in Gator Nation for the staff.

The Carolina game, unfortunately, undid most if not all of the tremendous goodwill generated for the staff by the Georgia victory.

Questioner: Why?

RattlerGator: Three damn losses in a row at home? Hello !?! But that doesn’t really scratch the surface. Well, I guess it does scratch the surface but it doesn’t get at the heart of the matter. The LSU loss that shouldn’t have been was bad, but everyone could see that Jeff Driskel had a brain cramp and unfortunately threw the game away. Or should I say PRESUMABLY threw the game away. After watching that field goal attempt against Carolina, who the heck knows what would have happened against LSU? Frustrating as that was, it was an out-of-division loss and could conceivably have been overcome.

No, it’s the [a] two losses, [b] to inferior teams, [c] inside the division, [d] at home that is driving everybody crazy. The way we lost those two games, however, is what has moved people from run-of-the-mill crazy to 38-hot and ready to fire every damn body.

Questioner: How are you handling the rollercoaster that has been Mizzou-Georgia-Vanderbilt-Carolina?

RattlerGator: Did you see my tweets yesterday?

Questioner: Yeah, your mother would not be happy.

RattlerGator: Tell me about it! You know, Hootie and the Blowfish had a line in a song years ago that said, “The Dolphins make cry.” Well, the Gators make me cuss. Bigtime. After a game like yesterday, just get the heck out of my way and give me some room.

Just give me some room and leave me be.

Questioner: So . . . Interstellar, huh? What did you think?

RattlerGator: Mess.

Questioner: Gator football under Will Muschamp?

RattlerGator: Just as messy.

Questioner:  Here’s something I just don’t quite get: why do you love Will so much?

RattlerGator: I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know. It must have something to do with him being a Gainesville kid, walking to the stadium, cheering on the Gators as a kid. I felt a kinship with him.

Let me tell you, though, I was letting him have it yesterday after that game, driving to the movie theater, sitting up in the back of the theater, watching the damn trailers, etc. Turn Treon loose, I keep screaming. Turn. Him. Loose. It was unthinkable to me that Treon wouldn’t start the Mizzou game. Unthinkable! But he didn’t, and then Will brings him in for his first series at the 10-damn-yard-line. What !?! I could have choked him.

But I got past that when the switch was made and Treon was named the starter. I especially got past it when Will and his staff coached up the players, put together a good plan, and dominated Georgia. That win alone, in all honesty, earned him (at that time) another year in my book. That’s how big the Georgia game is to me, and how big it was for him to get that monkey off his back.

Vanderbilt just iced everything. I exhaled after the Georgia game, but I began to dream again after the Vanderbilt game.

Then he threw it all away against Carolina.

Unbelievable, unthinkable, unfathomable. I think you catch my drift.

Questioner: Yeah, I think I got it, man.

RattlerGator: What I mean is this: 11 passes? What? Eleven passes!?! Will, what are you doing, bruh? I know I just wrote about complementary football and everything but complementary, man, complementary. Eleven passes is not complementary, it’s exclusive. It’s unnecessarily straight-jacketed. I don’t care if Treon had a cut finger. I don’t care if he was too hyped to start the game. That was to be expected.

Chunk the football, man. The kid can throw the football.

Turn. Him. Loose. Chunk it !!!

Questioner: So, you’re saying throw the football, huh?

RattlerGator: You damn skippy!

Questioner:  So, should he be fired.

RattlerGator: (sigh)

Questioner: Should he ???

RattlerGator: No.

Questioner: Why !?!

RattlerGator: Here’s why.

I woke up this morning thanking Auburn, Missouri and Florida State for providing some much-needed clarity to this die-hard Gator. Prior to yesterday I was absolutely convinced that Auburn would handily beat Georgia, A&M would handily beat Mizzou, and the Canes would squeak out a win over the Noles. None of those three events occurred. That means even if we had won our game against Carolina, our conference season would be over and our only remaining marquee moment this season would be staring us in the face. A late November date at Ron Zook Field with the mustard-and-ketchups.

So, nothing of substance that was within our control really changed yesterday. We still have the opportunity to be the team that takes down the Noles. Still. And that’s enough for me this season.

Suspend Your Disbelief, Rattler

Questioner:  Um, Rattler.

RattlerGator: Yes.

Questioner: Um . . . I don’t know what to quite say at this moment nor how you’re going to take this but, hell, it’s all over web now.

RattlerGator: What’s all over the web, bruh?

Questioner: Your boy Muschamp has been dismissed.

RattlerGator: What!?! No !?!

Questioner: Yes, yes, yes !!!

RattlerGator: Well, um, you don’t have to be so damn excited and yell and scream like that, do you?

He just wouldn’t throw the damn ball. I’ll never be able to figure out why he wouldn’t just toss the ball around. You couldn’t come back to Florida Field, as tenuous as things were, and throw eleven passes. How did he not know that?

Questioner: Look, the man stuck to his principles. There was just a sea change that occurred in the game just as he got his head coaching job and he got caught in something of an Interstellar wormhole. He was stuck with an unfortunately underperforming quarterback, and the rest is history. We should just thank him for his service and hope like heck we can go out and beat the hell out of the Noles, then rename that Tallahassee field Zook-Muschamp Memorial Field.

RattlerGator: It’s sad, to me. Really sad. Godspeed to you, Will Muschamp. These things happen. Life happens. It just wasn’t meant to be. I’d still love to catch up with you one day, have a beer and talk some football.

Go Gators !!!