The Ephesians Bartley Report: Ending on a downer

Well that sucked!

I’d like to take some time at some point to do some really deep analyzing about what exactly went wrong but whether I spend a long time or just a few minutes, I come to the same conclusion: 2013 simply sucked!

Real analytical, right? There is no analyzing missing 13 bodies inclusive of your starting tackles and wondering why one quarterback is in a boot and the other in a sling. With all that to deal with even the best coaches will struggle to stay above 500. There also is no comprehending a D1 team from the SEC – regardless of how depleted the roster – losing to a D-1AA or FCS or whatever that division is called. You can say what you want but it’s Georgia Southern. You can’t even try and justify it. Oh that’s right “Midline” (Facepalm).  Sorry 4-8 simply is poor coaching and execution, which is symptomatic of poor coaching.

Say what you want about William Muschamp but I like him. Sorry if that bothers you! He’s arrogant and full of esteem of self.  Gutless press corps waiting to serve him humble pie, figurative response, “You  eat it, I know what I’m doing!”  I’m a 1000% he  knows what he’s doing and where he want to go. However, can he effectively communicate it? No one in their right mind thinks Will wants an inept offense. However, it could easily be surmised that his approach and desired game plans yield the same affect. It’s that causal pradoxy thingy. It’s been pretty well documented his love of clock draining knock’em off the ball football.  Problem is when you can’t knock’em off the ball and meet a team with an offense that challenges your outstanding defense, you need points when you can get them and anyway you can get them. You can’t choose the method you just got to get the points. That little tussle with Teddy Bridgewater pretty much should a been an eye-opener. Instead, it takes as Mike Tyson so eloquently put it, ” A left hook as a road to enlightenment” to get his attention. It should not take embarrassing the Gator Nation with a 4-8 record for  to get what should have been apparent at the end of 2012 with any good self scouting.  We couldn’t pass block worth a damn, healthy or not. We couldn’t consistently throw routes greater than 10 yards. We can’t generate pressure with a four-man rush nor can we cover effective from the safety spot. Yet, we walk into  2013 and guess what? “IT WASN’T FIXED!”

So here we go with the change from the left hook of 4-8 as we step over the bodies of Brent Pease and Tim Davis. Did they deserve the prison house staking? I dunno but if QB and O-line development were their areas of responsibility they might have. Democracies, and college football fans are all colloquially “THE Mob.”  Executives, administrators and all great pontiffs know you have to give the mob their pound of flesh when needed. If you can’t give them what they really want of SEC championships, ‘Dogs neutered and that school out west humbled, then you give a nice juicy scapegoat – sorry, steak – to satiate them for awhile. So we have our pound of flesh and scapegoats for a miserable 4-8 season.

So, what do we need to do?

We get healthy.

We get pissed.



Fix it?



We bring in better teachers.

We let the offense have the same kick ass take names attitude as the defense.  All we need is a top 50 offense and it’s on.

Who will be the offensive coordinator? I dunno and really don’t care. The fun is in the speculation and examination. Honestly, I don’t think anyone but Champ and Foley have any clue nor should anyone else until the right time. This is one of those decisions where sexy or hot ain’t right. Competent needs to be the key adjective. The ability to teach at the QB level and communicate to the entire unit is going to be crucial in this year tryout. And, yes, it’s a year tryout as viewing our schedule and roster any missteps will make 7-6 a hope. All I think we need is upgrade to top 50 offense. UF top 50 scoring O equals champions. No doubt in my mind.

Here’s hoping at the end of 2014 the words out his mouth are “I told you I’d get it fixed” instead of that awkward press conference where Jeremy explains why he went from 1000% to 0%. I don’t see the latter unless hard head meats soft …

Here’s the big question: What defines success for 2014?

Is it 8-4, 9-3, 12-0? Beating Georgia? Beating our fine friends from Tallahassee?

Hmmmm! What will Gator Nation accept or what can be sold?

Synopsis of FSU:

Meh! Just did not have the horses on offense and played with fire too many times on the outside. The obvious third and 26 hurt our momentum but we dodged so many bullets defensively in the first half. It could have been easily 21-0 if Benjamin could catch without Jimbo (Fisher) walking over and encouraging him vociferously.

I feel bad for the seniors to leave on such a low note from such a great place. I hope each and every one has success in their chosen fields. I encourage  all to join the Florida Player Network as its our goal to help each other and keep the guys connected. Once again, thanks each and every senior and leaving junior for their efforts.

Thank you for your time,

Ephesians A. Bartley II

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Ephesians Bartley
Former Gator linebacker Ephesians “Fee” Bartley defined the 1990 season for the Florida defense when he laid out LSU wide receiver Todd Kinchen near midfield on the West sideline of Florida Field. The entire crowd stood silent as Kinchen lay motionless on the turf. It wasn’t until someone shouted, “He’s alive! I can see the spit bubbles in the corner of his mouth!” that the crowd breathed a sigh of relief. An All-SEC linebacker in 1991 who spent a year in the NFL and a few more in the CFL, Bartley runs a business and tax consulting firm in Jacksonville but he’s never lost his passion for Florida football.


  1. Maybe it’s the “beach” air that causes your head to be clearer than these other writers. I’m wondering how these other critics would survive the same level of criticism about their performance. Thanks, Fee for the clear thinking….yea, Fletcher and UF education probably helped too!