Dear Santa: Left you some cookies and Gatorade in my Gainesville hotel room, as my office isn’t ready just yet.
Just a last-minute list of things I need when I start my job at Florida Jan. 2.
And just in case you didn’t remember, please don’t leave any presents in Austin, including mine, or the burnt orange rocking chair I was going to buy for Mack Brown. (He won’t be needing it — he’s still going to coach.)
1. I’m thinking maybe the best gift I could get would be for the United States Congress, or the Florida State Legislature, or whoever does that type of stuff, could rename I-75 “The Florida Way” from the Florida-Georgia line southward. That’s the best way I know to get the message across to my players and future recruits that we have a new direction for The Gator Nation.
2. An offensive coordinator with the imagination of Dana Holgorsen, the guile of Steve Spurrier and the execution technique of Gus Malzahn.
3. A Smart defensive coordinator, even if it’s not Kirby.
4. A one-year free pass with the media.
5. One get out-of-jail-free card with the Internet message board jockeys.
6. A legal loophole that would give an extra year of college eligibility for Tim Tebow, Percy Harvin and Aaron Hernandez.
7. My own personal copy of Urban’s Meyer’s Little Orange and Blue Book on “How to Dominate Your Rivals.”
8. A new partner to replace Jimbo Fisher in our Northwest Florida beach house.
9. A national letter of intent signed by Jeff Driskel, A. C. Leonard, Javares McRoy, Louchiez Purifoy, Mike Blakely, Ja’Juan Story and Trip Thurman.
10. And finally, Urban Meyer’s new cell phone number if he changes it when he goes to work for a TV network.