Welcome home, fellow Gator.

The Gator Nation's oldest and most active insider community
Join today!

Too Polite?

Discussion in 'Too Hot for Swamp Gas' started by NOLAGATOR, Jun 13, 2018.

  1. NOLAGATOR

    NOLAGATOR GC Hall of Fame

    3,342
    911
    418
    Jun 2, 2014
    I had lunch with a friend of mine yesterday. He's another Food Science - Non-Scientist guy. Oh but his MS is from Cornell so maybe he has a little more credibility.

    My friend is from Texas and raised his kids with "Southern Manners". His daughter is at U Neb working on her MS. She was "dressed down" by her Professors for using "Yes Ma'am and Yes Sir". I think it was some "micro-aggression". This is in Nebraska mind you. Her dad chalked it up to "Academia" today and not our generation.

    A similar thing happened to me when I was doing a project in NJ. I am a Military Brat and raised in the South. I might as well have been from Mars.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Informative Informative x 1
  2. danmann65

    danmann65 GC Hall of Fame

    1,956
    251
    288
    May 22, 2015
    I was raised with proper manners. Please and thank you yes maam no maam all that jive. When I was 12 I had dinner at a friends house and I used my manners.

    The kids mother, they were from New Jersey, called my mom and said I had a fresh mouth, lol. Words dont have any deep meaning just the values we assign. People use manners as a weapon at times and I disagree with that but I must say I prefer a southern woman to say bless your heart as opposed to calling someone a b.
     
    • Agree Agree x 5
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  3. gatorknights

    gatorknights GC Hall of Fame

    21,809
    1,095
    933
    Apr 8, 2007
    Gainesville, FL
    Surprised to hear about the Nebraska incident, that's unusual for the midwest. I'm from MN and we suffer from this malady called "Minnesota Nice"

    What Exactly is Minnesota Nice? - Surviving and Thriving in Minnesota Nice!

    When I got down here, I got along great with the southerners, even when we didn't share the same opinions. Heck I was even married into a southern family from ATL. I'm not sure about the academia part, as I have friends and family in that world, but not everyone's experience is the same.
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  4. wgbgator

    wgbgator Very Stable Genius Premium Member

    Apr 19, 2007
    Geo-hell
    Excessive politeness is why Trump won. Being a rude and nasty oaf is how you appear authentic. People who engage in excessive politeness aka political correctness aren't to be trusted anymore. :)
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Off-topic Off-topic x 1
  5. citygator

    citygator Premium Member

    2,791
    506
    423
    Apr 3, 2007
    Charlotte
    I just received my corporate training on "microaggressions' and "microinvalidations", I kid you not....therefore I am an expert. Yes Maam and No sir were not listed as either so I think she is in the right. However, I do know some people, even in the south which has lots of norther transplants, dont like to be addressed that way because it makes them feel old. Snowflake aging people.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
    • Informative Informative x 1
  6. rivergator

    rivergator Too Hot Mod Moderator VIP Member

    Apr 8, 2007
    I tend to refer to women as ma'am and get periodically lightly chastised for it ... Guys don't seem to mind 'sir.'
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  7. wgbgator

    wgbgator Very Stable Genius Premium Member

    Apr 19, 2007
    Geo-hell
    I tend to use sir and ma'am only when I'm dealing with complaints. I never really considered that it might make people even more pissed off.
     
  8. ValdostaGatorFan

    ValdostaGatorFan GC Hall of Fame

    1,717
    140
    278
    Aug 21, 2007
    TitleTown, USA
    Well bless your heart.

    :p
     
    • Funny Funny x 4
  9. GatorNavy

    GatorNavy Damn the torpedoes! Moderator Premium Member

    4,683
    7,718
    738
    Apr 9, 2007
    Space Coast
    He may have been upset at the gender inference of sir and ma'am. Gender neutral pronouns are all the rage these days.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Funny Funny x 1
  10. slayerxing

    slayerxing GC Hall of Fame

    3,352
    341
    353
    Aug 14, 2007
    It's always better to use a person's name if you know it. (Mr. Smith, Ms. Smith, etc.)

    I've never heard anyone complain about sir or miss in the service industry, however.

    Also - and this is something to consider about academia - they are trying to train "junior colleagues" when they are working with graduate students. That means they really prefer students, in a lot of cases, to use their first name, or at worst, call them Dr. So-and so. Masters and PhD students are usually taught out of the habit of calling their "colleagues" sir and ma'am. I mean, it's usually not a scolding or a "dressing down", and it may not be said directly, but they will tell you to consider them as colleagues and peers if they are doing their job right.
     
  11. gatorknights

    gatorknights GC Hall of Fame

    21,809
    1,095
    933
    Apr 8, 2007
    Gainesville, FL
    It's been a long time since the southern days, so I had to do a little brushing up. This stuff is for real. "Cut own the ayah I'm burnin up".

    Love it -- and I'm not making fun, I'm just reliving.

    Glossary of Quaint Southernisms
     
  12. exiledgator

    exiledgator Gruntled

    8,500
    806
    418
    Jan 5, 2010
    Maine
    Too Polite for Swamp Gas.

    Get on it Ray. It's got potential!
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
    • Wish I would have said that Wish I would have said that x 2
  13. AlfaGator

    AlfaGator GC Hall of Fame

    9,007
    4,837
    580
    Aug 31, 2007
    This reminds me of an old joke.

    A Southern lady boards an airplane. When she reaches her set she greats a Northern lady in the seat next to her with a bright smile and says "where are you flying to?"

    The Northern lady replies " you know it is not polite to end a sentence with a preposition?"

    The Southern lady replies " all right, where are you flying to bitch?"
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
    • Winner Winner x 2
  14. GatorNorth

    GatorNorth Premium Member Premium Member

    11,315
    715
    688
    Apr 3, 2007
    Atlanta
    I (raised in NY to say "yeah" and "nah") didn't like it when my daughter's friends said "no sir" (we live in GA)

    Nothing to do with manners, just made me feel old. My wife (raised with proper manners in TN) didn't much like it either for the same reason.

    Politics aside, we are in a much more informal time.
     
  15. RealGatorFan

    RealGatorFan Premium Member

    13,409
    361
    608
    Apr 3, 2007
    That's a good point really. Considering the majority of sex-strange people live in California and up the west coast, they don't do the sir and ma'am stuff at all. I'll have to ask my wife's niece and her husband what looks they get now that they moved to Los Angeles. Those 2 are perfect definitions of southerners - he drove a fully loaded Crimson Tundra with the Bama A painted on and 2 big dogs (not those lap dogs them Californians have). I imagine he's having to take a few classes on PC. California recognizes 30 different sex codes so I told him good luck with the whackery. He's best never to say a word to anyone there or risk offending even a homeless person.
     
  16. AlfaGator

    AlfaGator GC Hall of Fame

    9,007
    4,837
    580
    Aug 31, 2007
    And we say "grace" and we say "Ma'am"
    And if you ain't into that we don't give a damn.
    Hank Jr.
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  17. baygator1

    baygator1 Premium Member

    8,080
    2,518
    388
    Apr 3, 2007
    It really gets on my nerves when kids respond to adults with 'yeah'. It comes across to me as lazy communication with an adult, and somewhat lacking in respect. I'm old school, which I think should still be now school. I like kids to respond with 'yes, please' or 'no, thank you'...etc. And I still think kids should say yes sir/no sir.

    All that said, I do realize this sort of thing is regional in nature and the deeply rooted intricacies of southern manners are lost on some.

    Lastly...Get off my lawn....please! :D
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2018
    • Like Like x 3
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Fistbump/Thanks! Fistbump/Thanks! x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  18. madgator

    madgator GC Hall of Fame

    11,070
    681
    688
    May 28, 2007
    South Florida

    Political correctness is very far removed from excessive politeness.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  19. madgator

    madgator GC Hall of Fame

    11,070
    681
    688
    May 28, 2007
    South Florida

    I'm one of them...….

    within the past year or so I've had younger people start calling me "sir" and it drives me up the freaking wall!
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  20. philobeddoe

    philobeddoe GC Hall of Fame

    6,684
    257
    308
    Apr 11, 2007
    Florida cracker here ..... descendant of a Florida Pioneer. Have always yes/no ma’am/sir. Referred to friends parents as Mrs and Mr. if someone has a problem with it .... it’s their problem. If anyone ever dressed me down for saying it, I’d likely tell them to get a life and probably something else I’d later regret☺️

    BTW, I live in an area with quite a few retired transplants from Conn, NY, and NJ. These are some of the loudest, nastiest people I’ve ever experienced. Some are worse than a drunk dawg fan. WTH makes these people the way they are.

    And ..... there is a large Russian community in Flagler County and I’ve generally found them to be quite nice and interesting.
     
    • Funny Funny x 1