Gay couple charged with molesting their sons and pimping them out to pedophile ring

I would. Almost unavoidably predatory and certainly unhealthy

 

Is it inherently predatory because Madonna is rich and famous or do you think this about every relationship where there's a significant age gap? Would it matter if the guy were a 25 or 30 year old prince or CEO who had his own fame and fortune? I just saw an article referencing Madonna from last year when she was 61 and reportedly dating her 24 year old back-up dancer. That may be problematic since she is/was the boss and could impact his career one way or the other. I'm not sure if DiCaprio is also dating women who work for him. If that's the case, then that would be another matter, but that's not the focus I've seen. Also, I think professional and financial power differentials can be a concern regardless of the ages involved.

I appreciate that you're being consistent here, but I think there's a gender component going on for many, whether conscious or subconscious. I haven't seen Madonna being trashed online and called a pedophile for her dating much younger men. Personally, I think some may be assuming by default that young women are victims while young men are not. To me, that seems to deny women their agency. Some younger women are genuinely attracted to older men. Some younger men are attracted to older women. As long as they're consenting adults and there's no coercion or something like that going on, I don't think it's fair to presume anything predatory is going on.

 

I haven't given it that much thought to try to give a reasoned consistently applicable "rule of law". I was more giving my general "instinctive repugnance" to use a generalized term from natural law, which may be what I'm really focusing on.

I'm just saying I think it's inherently predatory. Obviously individual circumstances could differ. That's why use the term "inherently". I do believe the age difference creates a dynamic in almost every situation, but certainly not all. There are very few rules in human relations which are universally applicable in every instance, humans being so variable.

And I don't think I'm inconsistent between the different genders being the "older partner", but none of us ever think we are, and sometimes our inconsistencies are only teased out in application. But at least in my mind I'm consistent.

We all inappropriately generalize from our specific situation. But I've always had a hard time believing that you could really have a mentally healthy relationship with someone so different in age. Obviously that may just be a failure of imagination. And I'm not talking about setting forth any legal standard. I'm just talking about my reaction. I will give you one example that goes back 35 years. When I was recently at a college and single, one of my buddies still liked to find reasons to hang out on campus and date college girls, whom he felt were more receptive than our actual peers. We were probably no more than 25 or 26, but had jobs and credit cards. I thought even that was creepy. Told him so.

To the extent that age difference is significant legally, it would only be in the area of estate and trust contests, specifically an "unnatural disposition" as a potential indicia of undue influence. It would be one factor, and would only come into play if you were disinherited kids from the first marriage in favor of your new paramour. It happens more often than you might imagine, and pays the bills.

 

Yeah, I think age gaps matter less and less the older two people get, and I think that's true for friendships as well as romantic relationships. At age 25 or 26, I don't think I would have considered dating a college girl who wasn't even old enough to drink. That does seem a bit slimey. Plus, I doubt we would have had much in common either. Those college years and early 20's are very formative. By age 25, though, people have some life experiences and a fully developed prefrontal cortex at least. Now that I'm a geezer in my mid forties, that same seven year age gap wouldn't seem very significant to me outside of things like pop culture, music, and movie trivia.

 

I agree that it's less significant as one ages. And my parents had a substantial difference in age. But that was a different time. I'm much older than you, and it still feels creepy to me. But I'm not can pretend I can set out a detailed explanation. It's just how I feel