How to win friends and influence people. Dale Carnegie. I bet you’ve read it. Probably time to knock the dust off and giver her another go.
I don’t think these are particularly southern values, but I do think Southerners tend to talk about them more
I have always lived in the South so I don't know what day to day life is like in other parts of America. Anecdotally, my dad's family came from the State of New York and my mom's from Mississippi. The main thing I have noticed is that my mom's side of the family is, on average, more politically conservative by comparison. My mom's side also had more emotional baggage when it came to race. But the core values are not different. I'm sure there are many things that are unique to the South. I love much of the culture, food, and music. But those aren't "values." The "ma'am" and "sir" thing rings somewhat true. I've also read that waving at people in the street is mostly a Southern thing, but I'm not sure even I do that outside of my neighborhood. I wonder how many perceived differences might be based upon whether one lives in a big city, suburban area, or a rural area. I have a hard time imagining that day to day life in a busy and populated large city like Atlanta is really that comparable to a small town in Alabama where the pace of life is slower and everybody knows each other. I imagine there are towns in Alaska and Montana that have a lot in common with those Alabama towns. I've been to New York City several times, and people seemed almost rude at first. But I think they're in a hurry and don't have as much time for chit chat. We also know that Southerners can be sweet to your face and gossip behind your back. And if you lay on your horn in a Southern town where people aren't used to it, they may be ready to fight because they take it as some sort of personal slight. I don't know about the punctuality thing either. My Hispanic friends always laughed about how uptight we gringos are about it. I get very stressed out being late or even pushing it to the last minute. But I've never considered Southerners as being particularly concerned with punctuality relative to other Americans. Is that even a thing?
You seem to have skipped through the entire thread. Look at the entire body of exchanges. Geez Louise.
Article seems to describe southern decorum, charm, or hospitality versus what are “traditional” post antebellum southern values. The South has changed so much, it’s likely impossible to define a continuum of values over the last 10 years.
I don't know how you come to that conclusion except via generalization and stereotype. The values you list are universal and as often ignored as followed no matter where you are. I was raised in north Florida, and my ancestors over the last 250 years are from Alabama and Mississippi. I sure have seen many who ignore one or more of your "southern" values, owning slaves being one of them. Further, one might conclude your post shows disrespect to those from the North, as if they were somehow less "genteel" than those from the South.
I had a northern lady friend who lives in my condo building get mad at me once for describing a few women as girls. She thought I was being disrespectful. I told her it’s a southern thing and not to be taken that way. She didn’t believe me. Lol I find most people to be friendly if you speak to them in a friendly manner. What I’ve discovered is southerners are more comfortable talking to strangers and breaking the ice so to speak, with a first hello. Then there’s that elevator thing, lol, where everyone stands quietly facing the door. I speak to people in elevators all the time. Don’t care where they’re from or who they are. I have fun with it.
I bet there are more than a few southern Black people who would take issue with this. Or is there a separate, but equal, set of Southern values for them?
I've never lived outside the South, but the main difference I noticed between living in Florida vs. Memphis is that in Tennessee strangers love asking what church you go to, I dont think necessarily as a religious matter in most cases, but just that it was far more ingrained in social life than anywhere else I've lived.
No, that's not a southern thing, it is being disrespectful even if you don't intend it to be. Try referring to a female opposing counsel in a courtroom as a "girl" and see what happens.