Trump's Popularity Skyrockets After He Deports All Cyclists

gaterzfan · May 11, 2025 at 11:58 AM

Okay, now I’m worried!! This is just hitting too close to home and is simply unacceptable!! I wonder if we’ll be safe if we switch to an e-bike and stay off the road? I mean ….. I have civil rights and the first amendment should protect my right to express myself through cycling. I even ride an American brand made in Taiwan or Vietnam. One of those places could be made the 51st state, ya know!

Trump's Popularity Skyrockets After He Deports All Cyclists

U.S. — Despite controversies surrounding tariffs and the defunding of dozens of large government departments, a new poll showed President Donald Trump's popularity skyrocketed after he announced the deportation of all cyclists.

The president made the historic announcement during an impromptu press briefing in the Oval Office, with even reporters who have normally been his most staunch critics applauding the eradication of all cyclists as a significant step forward for the country.

"This is the dawning of a better, brighter America," Trump told the media. "For far too long, we have suffered the effects of cyclists invading our great streets. Those days are now over. I have ordered the full might of the federal government to be directed toward the deportation of all cyclists. We have no choice. We must rid our country of these people. You ever get stuck behind one of them on the road? It's terrible."

Administration officials confirmed that thousands of cyclists had already been apprehended by law enforcement agencies across the country, with millions more expected to follow. "This is a president who keeps his promises," said White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt. "When he campaigned on making America great again, he was serious. Washing our cities clean of the plague of cyclists is a big part of that pledge."

VAg8r1 · May 11, 2025 at 12:02 PM

gaterzfan said: ↑

Okay, now I’m worried!! This is just hitting too close to home and is simply unacceptable!! I wonder if we’ll be safe if we switch to an e-bike and stay off the road? I mean ….. I have civil rights and the first amendment should protect my right to express myself through cycling. I even ride an American brand made in Taiwan or Vietnam. One of those places could be made the 51st state, ya know!

Trump's Popularity Skyrockets After He Deports All Cyclists

U.S. — Despite controversies surrounding tariffs and the defunding of dozens of large government departments, a new poll showed President Donald Trump's popularity skyrocketed after he announced the deportation of all cyclists.

The president made the historic announcement during an impromptu press briefing in the Oval Office, with even reporters who have normally been his most staunch critics applauding the eradication of all cyclists as a significant step forward for the country.

"This is the dawning of a better, brighter America," Trump told the media. "For far too long, we have suffered the effects of cyclists invading our great streets. Those days are now over. I have ordered the full might of the federal government to be directed toward the deportation of all cyclists. We have no choice. We must rid our country of these people. You ever get stuck behind one of them on the road? It's terrible."

Administration officials confirmed that thousands of cyclists had already been apprehended by law enforcement agencies across the country, with millions more expected to follow. "This is a president who keeps his promises," said White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt. "When he campaigned on making America great again, he was serious. Washing our cities clean of the plague of cyclists is a big part of that pledge."
Click to expand...

Another failure at satire from the Babylon Bee. No matter how it hard it tries it cannot come to close to the Onion when it comes to humor.
How The Trump Administration Will Carry Out Mass Deportation- The Onion
President-elect Donald Trump pledged to fulfill his campaign promise of removing millions of undocumented immigrants in a “record-setting deportation operation.” Here is the incoming administration’s plan for carrying out mass deportation.

Redirect immigration applicants to a travel blog called “50 Things To Do In Equatorial Guinea.”

Trigger the trapdoor under Arizona.

Check millions of migrants’ calendars to find a good time for everyone to get deported together.

Disguise ICE agents as shrubs, trash cans, and traffic cones so they can sneak around more easily.

Tell neighborhood watch groups to really just go nuts.

Decrease America’s dependence on fruits and vegetables.

Get “calling ICE on my neighbor” trending on TikTok.

Use military force to round up anyone who can identify Mexico on a map.

Probably something horrific involving tents in the desert.

Ask Biden how he did it.

Here's another
ICE Agents Wait At Edge Of Delivery Table To Deport Newborn

BLING · May 11, 2025 at 12:03 PM

92gator · May 11, 2025 at 12:44 PM

VAg8r1 said: ↑

Another failure at satire from the Babylon Bee. No matter how it hard it tries it cannot come to close to the Onion when it comes to humor.
How The Trump Administration Will Carry Out Mass Deportation- The Onion
President-elect Donald Trump pledged to fulfill his campaign promise of removing millions of undocumented immigrants in a “record-setting deportation operation.” Here is the incoming administration’s plan for carrying out mass deportation.

Redirect immigration applicants to a travel blog called “50 Things To Do In Equatorial Guinea.”

Trigger the trapdoor under Arizona.

Check millions of migrants’ calendars to find a good time for everyone to get deported together.

Disguise ICE agents as shrubs, trash cans, and traffic cones so they can sneak around more easily.

Tell neighborhood watch groups to really just go nuts.

Decrease America’s dependence on fruits and vegetables.

Get “calling ICE on my neighbor” trending on TikTok.

Use military force to round up anyone who can identify Mexico on a map.

Probably something horrific involving tents in the desert.

Ask Biden how he did it.

Here's another
ICE Agents Wait At Edge Of Delivery Table To Deport Newborn
Click to expand...

That was beyond stupidly lame.

"Babylon Bee sux!"

"...hold my beer..."

/s/the onion.

WC53 · May 11, 2025 at 1:12 PM

I would support that!

citygator · May 11, 2025 at 1:13 PM

The next Babylon be article i read that is funny will be the first.

VAg8r1 · May 11, 2025 at 1:45 PM

92gator said: ↑

That was beyond stupidly lame.

"Babylon Bee sux!"

"...hold my beer..."

/s/the onion.
Click to expand...

If you like to read the Babylon Bee that's fine with me. What's humorous is a matter of personal opinion. Whether you're willing to admit it or not as a satirical publication the Bee doesn't hold a candle to the Onion.

rivergator · May 11, 2025 at 2:41 PM

Well, here you go then

Newsmax guest calls bike lanes "communist garbage"

homer · May 11, 2025 at 2:52 PM

I’d like cyclists to follow the laws and rules of the roads.

gatorpa · May 11, 2025 at 6:00 PM

VAg8r1 said: ↑

If you like to read the Babylon Bee that's fine with me. What's humorous is a matter of personal opinion. Whether you're willing to admit it or not as a satirical publication the Bee doesn't hold a candle to the Onion.
Click to expand...

Ya know what they say about opinions…..

NavyGator93 · May 11, 2025 at 9:13 PM

homer said: ↑

I’d like cyclists to follow the laws and rules of the roads.
Click to expand...

I stopped riding on roads 20 years ago. Drivers are so distracted that it's not safe to be out there in a car, much less on a bike.

Orange_and_Bluke · May 11, 2025 at 9:33 PM

Cyclists are miserable people.
They often choose to ride on the road instead of using the BIKE TRAIL!!
I am so over these suicidal idiots.
Please get off the damn road!!!

sierragator · May 11, 2025 at 9:52 PM

NavyGator93 said: ↑

I stopped riding on roads 20 years ago. Drivers are so distracted that it's not safe to be out there in a car, much less on a bike.
Click to expand...

Yep, the idea of cars going by at high speeds while looking at the cell phones is a hard no. MTB is the way to go.

NavyGator93 · May 11, 2025 at 9:59 PM

Orange_and_Bluke said: ↑

Cyclists are miserable people.
Click to expand...

Yes, the cyclists definitely sound like the miserable ones here.

gaterzfan · May 12, 2025 at 6:22 AM

Not all areas of this great nation have bike trails. Further, many people choose to walk on "bike trails" making it difficult and dangerous for another to cycle at 15 - 20 mph on such a "bike trail". There is a reason many bikes are designated "road bikes" .... just like there are gravel, mountain, comfort, hybrid, etc bikes.

I'm always a little amazed that someone sitting in the air-conditioned comfort of a 2 ton vehicle gets aggravated by any inconvenience caused by another riding a 15-20# bike. I know there are dumb cyclists on the road ... I've ridden with a few ..... but after over 27K miles on the road over the past 6 years, I know that there are likely a far greater % of schmucks operating 4000# vehicles. I see them every time I ride.

So we'll just disagree on this point.

Orange_and_Bluke said: ↑

Cyclists are miserable people.
They often choose to ride on the road instead of using the BIKE TRAIL!!
I am so over these suicidal idiots.
Please get the F off the damn road!!!
Click to expand...

citygator · May 12, 2025 at 8:22 AM

rivergator said: ↑

Well, here you go then

Newsmax guest calls bike lanes "communist garbage"
Click to expand...

My wife is on vacation in Amsterdam. Says bikes are everywhere and she loves it. Not sure if she is communist now.

rivergator · May 12, 2025 at 8:27 AM

homer said: ↑

I’d like cyclists to follow the laws and rules of the roads.
Click to expand...

Agree. Motorists and pedestrians, too.

Orange_and_Bluke · May 12, 2025 at 8:44 AM

gaterzfan said: ↑

Not all areas of this great nation have bike trails. Further, many people choose to walk on "bike trails" making it difficult and dangerous for another to cycle at 15 - 20 mph on such a "bike trail". There is a reason many bikes are designated "road bikes" .... just like there are gravel, mountain, comfort, hybrid, etc bikes.

I'm always a little amazed that someone sitting in the air-conditioned comfort of a 2 ton vehicle gets aggravated by any inconvenience caused by another riding a 15-20# bike. I know there are dumb cyclists on the road ... I've ridden with a few ..... but after over 27K miles on the road over the past 6 years, I know that there are likely a far greater % of schmucks operating 4000# vehicles. I see them every time I ride.

So we'll just disagree on this point.
Click to expand...

I’m sure there are many safe roads to bike…
Specifically near Orlando, bikers find their way to our serpentine streets, hills that create blind spots…it’s all very dangerous for everyone. It’s not as simple as drive around the cyclists. They bunch up and often swerve toward center of the road creating backed up cars.
I don’t doubt that some bikers know what they’re doing.
The people out here definitely do not care about their life or the lives of others.

OklahomaGator · May 12, 2025 at 9:40 AM

If you want to see bike trails everywhere, go to Northwest Arkansas.

Tjgators · May 12, 2025 at 9:45 AM

gaterzfan said: ↑

Okay, now I’m worried!! This is just hitting too close to home and is simply unacceptable!! I wonder if we’ll be safe if we switch to an e-bike and stay off the road? I mean ….. I have civil rights and the first amendment should protect my right to express myself through cycling. I even ride an American brand made in Taiwan or Vietnam. One of those places could be made the 51st state, ya know!

Trump's Popularity Skyrockets After He Deports All Cyclists

U.S. — Despite controversies surrounding tariffs and the defunding of dozens of large government departments, a new poll showed President Donald Trump's popularity skyrocketed after he announced the deportation of all cyclists.

The president made the historic announcement during an impromptu press briefing in the Oval Office, with even reporters who have normally been his most staunch critics applauding the eradication of all cyclists as a significant step forward for the country.

"This is the dawning of a better, brighter America," Trump told the media. "For far too long, we have suffered the effects of cyclists invading our great streets. Those days are now over. I have ordered the full might of the federal government to be directed toward the deportation of all cyclists. We have no choice. We must rid our country of these people. You ever get stuck behind one of them on the road? It's terrible."

Administration officials confirmed that thousands of cyclists had already been apprehended by law enforcement agencies across the country, with millions more expected to follow. "This is a president who keeps his promises," said White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt. "When he campaigned on making America great again, he was serious. Washing our cities clean of the plague of cyclists is a big part of that pledge."
Click to expand...

I should have invested in electric bikes five years ago. Lutheran Services of FL has bought hundreds of them here in Tampa.

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