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Discussion in 'The GatorTail Pub' started by Gatormb, Jan 27, 2014.
That was DISPICABLE! Totally against marriage and respect for your wife's thoughts on everything. I would NEVER think that was a good idea!!!
You never know if your wife is lurking on the boards.
I thought for a second that was Mrs51.
And the men's choir said "Amen"!
Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.
Nothing like Gorilla tape. Used it to tape up the post for my mail box after some clown split it in half with their car. Couldn't get a new mailbox for a few days and it held up so we could get mail.
AND I put a strip on my tire to cover up a small hole where the tread was coming off. A week later it was still there and it had rained a few days too!
A young fella walks past the old farmer's house holding some duct tape. The old farmer yells from the front porch,
Hey young fella, where you going with that duct tape?" The young fella says, "I am going to go catch some ducks." The old farmer yells back, "You can't catch ducks with duct tape!" The young fella yells back, "Can too - wanna come watch?"
The old farmer yells back, "Hell no". But sure enough, a few hours later, the young fella comes back by with a bunch of ducks wrapped in duct tape.
Next day, the young fella is walking by the old farmer's house again, only this time he is carrying chicken wire.
The old farmer yells from the front porch, Hey young fella, where you going with that chicken wire?" The young fella says, "I am going to go catch some chickens." The old farmer yells back, "You can't catch chickens with chicken wire!" The young fella yells back, "Can too - wanna come watch?" The old farmer yells back, "Hell no". But sure enough, a few hours later, the young fella comes back by with a bunch of chickens all wrapped up in the chicken wire.
The next day, the young fella is walking by the old farmer's house again, only this time he has a bunch of pussy willow limbs. The old farmer yells out, "I'll get my hat!"
Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what’s wrong.
"Well," replies Paul, "you know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"
"Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh.
"Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."
"That’s great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?"
"I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I`d get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn`t show."
"Sensible" says Jeff.
"So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw."
"And what happened then?"
(Paul slumps back over the bar again.)
"I kicked her in the face."
Oh Kurt, that is freakin funny, thanks for making me laugh.
In the spring of my freshman year my Dad was bringing my brothers up to see me play in the O & B game. They drove a Tropic Travler Van back then, the one with the blinds and curtains in the windows and captains chairs in the middle and a bench seat that laid down into a bed in the back. Loved taking that thing out when I was in HS, but those are other stories... Anyways, so Dad and my brothers are on their way from Rockledge (near cocoa beach) up to Gville and my brothers are 11 and 9 then. Typical bickering and fighting and can't leave each other alone type antics in the car that all dads have experienced and hate. Well in the 2 hrs he's been driving he has probably had to tell them to leave each other alone maybe 87 times and has had his fill and issued the final warning of "if either of you touch the other again, I'm stopping this van". Well sure as shit the boys mess with each another 2.3 minutes later and Dad screeches to a stop on the side of the highway. Now I wasn't there, but I can imagine plain as day how this went down. The boys, scared shitless and ramrod straight, watch dad go to the back of the van and open the toolbox. He opens the side doors and climbs in (without saying a word, kind of his thing when he is scary pissed off) and duct tapes the boys hands to the arms of the chair and duct tapes their mouths shut. He gets out, shuts the doors and hops in the drivers seat and takes off. He turns the radio on and begins to calm down. It's at this point, a few exits down the road he tells me, that he begins to think about the situation and thinks what could/would happen if for some reason he gets pulled over and the cop comes to the window to see to young boys, scared to death and taped to the seat they're in, in the back of some dudes van.... So he gets off at the next exit and pulls over and gets out and comes to their door and says in his mouth clinched shut angry voice perfected over his 18yrs as a father "if I take this tape off, are you going to sit there and be quiet?" He said they nodded yes in unison and he took the tape off. It was about another 40 min or so to Archer rd exit he said and they didn't make a sound. Too bad you can't parent like that these days.... Dad is awesome btw
Deebo, that is so cool and an awesome story, thanks for sharing.