Why did the chicken cross the road? Opinions vary...

Discussion in 'The GatorTail Pub' started by kurt_borglum, Mar 26, 2014.

  1. kurt_borglum
    Offline

    kurt_borglum VIP Member

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2007
    Messages:
    2,301
    Likes Received:
    254
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Ratings Received:
    +992
    Why did the chicken cross the road?


    SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!


    BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.


    JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.


    HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road?


    GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.


    DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?


    COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.


    BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.


    AL GORE: I invented the chicken.


    JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.


    AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?


    DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.


    OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.


    ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.


    NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.


    PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.


    MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.


    DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.


    ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.


    GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.


    BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.


    ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.


    JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.


    BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable and will never need to reboot.


    ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?


    COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
    • Funny Funny x 7
  2. gregthegator
    Offline

    gregthegator Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2007
    Messages:
    2,589
    Likes Received:
    116
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Ratings Received:
    +441
    Rick was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary.


    His wife was really angry.


    She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!"


    The next morning Rick got up early and left for work.


    When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.


    Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house.


    She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.



    Rick has been missing since Friday. Please pray for him.
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Winner Winner x 1
  3. gnvgator
    Offline

    gnvgator Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2007
    Messages:
    13,555
    Likes Received:
    972
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Hogtowne
    Ratings Received:
    +1,194
    [​IMG]
    • Funny Funny x 1
  4. mamag8ter
    Offline

    mamag8ter VIP Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2007
    Messages:
    14,241
    Likes Received:
    3,446
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Ratings Received:
    +5,793
    Everyone knows it was to get to the other side!

    • Funny Funny x 2
  5. ursidman
    Offline

    ursidman Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2007
    Messages:
    2,988
    Likes Received:
    617
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Ratings Received:
    +1,277
    The Chicken: to show the armadillo it could be done.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  6. mamag8ter
    Offline

    mamag8ter VIP Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2007
    Messages:
    14,241
    Likes Received:
    3,446
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Ratings Received:
    +5,793
    OK, I took liberties with that scene.
    • Funny Funny x 1
  7. Gator515151
    Offline

    Gator515151 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2007
    Messages:
    19,188
    Likes Received:
    112
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Ratings Received:
    +336
    It has something to do with F$U and the ACC.
  8. jewood592
    Online

    jewood592 Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2010
    Messages:
    4,996
    Likes Received:
    2,475
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Orlando
    Ratings Received:
    +3,567

Share This Page