Peeing on the flowers

Discussion in 'The GatorTail Pub' started by g8orbill, Dec 2, 2013.

  1. g8orbill
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    g8orbill Gators VIP Member

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    A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."

    "Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady.. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.

    "Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

    "Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course.
    A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?"

    "So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes."

    "Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing.

    "OK. Good luck!"

    "Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

    "Not everybody pays."

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  2. gregthegator
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    gregthegator Well-Known Member

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    and here I thought this thread was actually about...well...you know...and yes...I do...well w/a 9.5 acre nursery...sometimes plants need a little extra nitrogen...at least that's what I tell myself.......
  3. gregthegator
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    gregthegator Well-Known Member

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    The boss had to fire somebody.
    He narrowed it down to one of two people, either Becky or Jack.
    It was an impossible decision because they were both decent workers.
    Rather then flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.
    Becky came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night.
    She went to the cooler to take an aspirin.
    The boss approached her and said, "Becky, I've never done this before but i either have to lay you or Jack off."
    "Could you jack off ? " she said. " I feel like s--- this morning."
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  4. g8orbill
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    g8orbill Gators VIP Member

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  5. mamag8ter
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    mamag8ter VIP Member

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    Love the jokes, lol.
  6. deebo652
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    Because the grass is always greener; when you water with your wiener outside

    skip to 1:20
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