Lose 15 pounds in three days.....

Discussion in 'Gator Country Health and Fitness' started by Tasselhoff, Feb 14, 2013.

  1. Tasselhoff
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    Tasselhoff Well-Known Member

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    So I had to do this for post surgery. It works. Hehehehe ( evil dr. laugh)

    Step 1- Do not eat for twenty four hours. Just liquids. Most of you will feel grouchy near the end. Tell loved ones and family to either get use to it or leave....it is only going to get worse.

    2. Buy a 64 oz gatorade. Flavor that you hate. Pour out one quarter. Now combine that with a bottle of miralax. I think it is about 258 mg. It is 14 servings of the stuff. Guzzle it down over the next hour. You may need to thin it out with some water it gets kind of thick.

    3. Time is now of the essence. Stock a bathroom with magazines a laptop and several rolls of cushiony toliet paper.Tell all other residence of the dwellling to stay far away.

    4. Over the next 12 - 24 hrs you will lose a lot of weight. At times you will feel like you lost internal organs as well, at other times you will just wish to die. Whatever happens....do not I repeat do not give in to the temltation to strip naked and lay under the shower and let whatever happens happen. That does not end well.

    5. When the waterworks subside do not eat a lot. Nibble. And weigh yourself. Enjoy the weight loss. Sure, it will return with in a few days of proper hydration, but u til does you still weigh 15 pounds less.

    Disclaimer....this is joke .Do not do this. IT SUCKS. I HAVE to do it occassionally and it is enough to make me consider if cancer really was all that bad.
  2. Dreamliner
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    Dreamliner Well-Known Member

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    Hehe, somebody is going to be all over this and skate right past your disclaimer.

    Experiences like this are instructive though, as they cause us to wonder why people get so excited about dramatic, short-term weight-loss.
  3. Tasselhoff
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    Tasselhoff Well-Known Member

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    No kidding. Screw losing weight. Focus on living a healthy lifestyle. Do not over indulge. Move. Use your muscles. Enjoy life. And your body will respond accordi gly.
  4. Dreamliner
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    Dreamliner Well-Known Member

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    You're preaching to the choir here. I've radically overhauled my approach, as a fitness trainer, to reckon with the (I think) unassailable fact that the body knows its healthy weight better than its owners do.

    But I must say I find that telling people not to worry about their distinctive shapes is a bit of a hard sell.

    And you know, just last night I was pondering how stupid I've been (along with countless others) to have imagined that our bodies just go haywire and need us, and our presumably better judgement, to rein them in.
  5. Tasselhoff
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    Tasselhoff Well-Known Member

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    I look at it this way....I want to enjoy my lofe...not wprry about my shape. So my focus is on squeezing as much enjoyment out of lice as possible. Part of doi g that requires I stay healthy. Not bodybuilder sized of NFL athletic, but healthy. So I eat good foods in moderation, I work out in moderation (almost exclusively body weight exercises) and I enjoy activity. Even if my life centered arou d playing video ges I would realize that the only way to continue doing what I love is to stay healthy. Weight is not my obsession. Body shape is not.my.obsession. life is.

    Anx I know about preaching to the choir. I do not post often but I do lurk quite a bit.
  6. jhenderson251
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    jhenderson251 Premium Member

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    I don't know about you, but I've never squeezed a single ounce of enjoyment out of lice... :joecool:
  7. NoahBeanBizzel
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    NoahBeanBizzel Well-Known Member

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    Actually, I've got a much more effective method. Plant 25 (10-12 foot) arborvitaes in 90-degree heat over a three-day stretch. Not only will you lose fifteen lbs. over a three-day stretch, you'll likely walk away from your workout with fifteen grand.
  8. allig8ralli
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    allig8ralli Member

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    yea you should put the disclaimer at the top haha
  9. Tasselhoff
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    Tasselhoff Well-Known Member

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    Sorry. Typing on a phone with hands that are half numb from nerve damage in the middle of the night does not lead to cohesive sentence structure or spelling.


    Or I could just be avery intelligent primate that enjoys squeezing lice.

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