Araprosdokians

Discussion in 'The GatorTail Pub' started by kurt_borglum, Sep 1, 2013.

  1. kurt_borglum
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    kurt_borglum VIP Member

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    ARAPROSDOKIANS (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of
    speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising
    or unexpected; frequently humorous.

    1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

    2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on my list.

    3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright
    until you hear them speak.

    4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

    5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

    6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

    7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it
    in a fruit salad.

    8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to
    tell you why it isn't.

    9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many
    is research.

    10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my
    desk is a work station.

    11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

    12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of
    emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

    13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

    14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
    street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

    15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a
    successful man is usually another woman.

    16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

    17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute
    to skydive twice.

    18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to
    live with.

    19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so
    they can't get away.

    20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

    21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

    22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever
    you hit the target.

    23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

    24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

    25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
    standing in a garage makes you a car.

    26. Where there's a will, there are relatives.
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  2. mamag8ter
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    mamag8ter VIP Member

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    All great kurt. Thanks for posting that.
  3. Gatorrick22
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    Gatorrick22 Well-Known Member

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    Yes, my girlfriend and I thought they were funny.
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  4. ursidman
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    ursidman Well-Known Member

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    27. The best planned lays of mice and men often go astray.
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  5. ThePlayer
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    ThePlayer VIP Member

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    Bill Cosby (from his father):

    I brought you into this world...and I can take you out.
  6. FoxGator
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    FoxGator Sly as a Fox Premium Member

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    My favorite:

    17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute
    to skydive twice.
  7. Norcaligator
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    Norcaligator Well-Known Member

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    Grammar police say: paraprosdokians.
  8. dadx4
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    dadx4 Well-Known Member

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    Those were great thanks.

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