Two funnies for a Thursday
An elderly lady was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one evening. She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her husband with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years. Clearly, they were still very much in love.
While the husband was in the living room, her lady friend leaned over to her hostess to say, "I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your husband all those loving names."
The elderly lady hung her head, "I have to tell you the truth," she said, "his name slipped my mind about 10 years ago, and I'm scared to death to ask the cranky old bastard what his name is."
Some insurance agents are better with words then most lawyers
A man and his wife, moved back home to West Virginia from Ohio .. The husband had a wooden leg, and to insure it back in Ohio cost them $2000 per year!
When they arrived in West Virginia , they went to an insurance agency to see how much it would cost to insure his wooden leg.
The agent looked it up on the computer and said: $39.00.
The husband was shocked and asked why it was so cheap here in West Virginia to insure it because it cost him $2000 in Ohio !
The insurance agent turned his computer screen to the couple and said, 'Well, here it is on the screen, it says: Any wooden structure, with a sprinkler system above it, is $39.00 .. You just have to know how to describe it!