The Black Bra

[g8orbill]

The Black Bra (as told by a woman)

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes.We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes..Here's how it all went.

My engaged friend :

The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask.He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.'Then we made passionate love all night long

The mistress:

Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and a mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story:

When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.When he came in the door and saw me he said...





























What's for dinner, Zorro?

[kurt_borglum]

Love Dress
A woman stopped by at her recently married son's house. She rang
the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked.
Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the
daughter-in-law answered.
"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed!
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"
"My husband loves me to wear this dress," she explained.
"It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't
get enough of me."
The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered,
Put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home.
He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.
"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"

[kurt_borglum]

KEEP YOUR GUMS HEALTHY

A little boy goes shopping with his mother and is waiting right outside of the ladies dressing room for his Mom to come out. While waiting the little boy gets bored and just when his Mom comes walking out, she sees her son sliding his hand up a mannequin's skirt. "Get your hand out of there!" she shouts. "Don't you know that women have teeth down there?"
The little boy quickly snatches his hand away and thanks his lucky stars he didn't get bitten.

For the next ten years, this little boy grows up believing all women have teeth between their legs. When he's 16, he gets a girlfriend. One night, while her parents are out of town, she invites him over for a little action.

After an hour of making out and grinding on the sofa, she says, "You know, you could go a little further if you want."

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"Well, why don't you put your hand down there?" she says, pointing to her crotch.

"HELL NO," he cries, "you've got teeth down there!"

"Don't be ridiculous," she responds, "there's no such thing as teeth down there!"

"Yes, there are," he says, "my Mom told me so."

"No, there aren't," she insists. "Here, look for yourself." With that, she pulls down her pants and gives him a little peek.

"No, I'm sorry" he says. "My Mom already told me that all women have teeth down there."

"Oh for crying out loud!" she cries. She whips off her panties, throws her legs behind her head and says, "LOOK, I DON'T have any teeth down there."

The boy takes a good long look and replies, "Well, after seeing the condition of those gums, I'm not surprised!"

[g8orbill]

LMFAO

[ufrulz2]

Kurt, that's hilarious.

[insuragator]

Awesome!!

[Gator515151]

I used to know a Black Panties joke.



Them weren't black panties, them was flies!