Craigslist Ad: "To The Girl I Had Drunk Sex With Last Night"

[Jaggator]

I swear for some reason Cecil came to mind after I read this...

To the girl I had drunk sex with last night – m4w

"Drinking in the U-District sure is fun, isn’t it! You can end up doing the craziest things!

Such as getting drunk, and stumbling home with an equally drunk coed.

Oh my God, I was so wasted. I don’t remember meeting you. I don’t remember taking the bus with you. I assume we took the bus, as neither of us were in any position to drive, and my apartment is a good five miles from where we drank, which would be far too long a walk when sober. I do remember briefly talking in the bar (although I don’t know what about). I remember us naked in my living room. I hope we kept our clothes on until we entered my apartment.

We drank some more at my place. I think. Everything is very hazy. You were hot, and a senior from a sorority. That’s great. I think that made the sex better, somehow. Because I don’t remember much, but I think we had amazing (albeit sloppy) sex, for a long while. May I take a second here to congratulate myself on staying hard despite so much alcohol. You did well, too. It was fun.

Then we fell asleep. I woke up with a massive headache and an inability to recall the previous night. You were gone when I woke up, all traces of you vanished. I was merely a one night stand for you. I don’t regret it, though. I just have two questions.

What’s your name? And, can I please have my wallet back?"

Location: Seattle
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

[TheGator]

[ufrulz2]

I was thinking Sylez Koolaid

[secgator]

Originally Posted by ufrulz2

I was thinking Sylez Koolaid

Me too...he seems much more apt to be this way than Cecil.

The constant 'bro'.....'brah'...and in particular, 'nomsayin' tends to lend itself to think this. Not to mention he must get his mail delivered to strip clubs.

[GatorPrincess8]

LOL

[gnvgator]

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/rnr/3663544180.html


To the woman who crapped her pants in my car (Seattle)
We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.

I thought we had chemistry sitting at 6 rivers sharing that basket of hot wings while drinking the chili beer. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don't feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said "First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me" was meant to be funny, not offensive.

I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat...

What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

I await your call,
Tad

P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early. . .Touché. . .
Location: Seattle
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

[ufrulz2]

That. Is. FANTASTIC.

[ArtVandelay]

Originally Posted by gnvgator

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/rnr/3663544180.html


To the woman who crapped her pants in my car (Seattle)
We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.

I thought we had chemistry sitting at 6 rivers sharing that basket of hot wings while drinking the chili beer. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don't feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said "First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me" was meant to be funny, not offensive.

I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat...

What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

I await your call,
Tad

P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early. . .Touché. . .
Location: Seattle
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

I'm dying over here...

P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early. . .Touché. . .

That could be the funniest thing I have ever read in my life...

[ThePlayer]

Man...I really needed to laugh hard today.

-Shatless in Seattle.

[lurkingator1]

thanks for both of these, I laughed so hard my side hurts !

[alphaOmegator]

I laughed so hard I Shat myself.

[Jaggator]

[deebo65]

Partyrockin nom-sayin

[gator1986]

Haaaa!! Awesome

[Gatormb]

Originally Posted by gnvgator

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/rnr/3663544180.html


To the woman who crapped her pants in my car (Seattle)
We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.

I thought we had chemistry sitting at 6 rivers sharing that basket of hot wings while drinking the chili beer. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don't feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said "First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me" was meant to be funny, not offensive.

I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat...

What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

I await your call,
Tad

P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early. . .Touché. . .
Location: Seattle
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

mb rep for the video sig. Too funny!

[mamag8ter]

Originally Posted by TheGator

Love it Gator. I saved it in case I need to kiss someone off.