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Old 12-08-2012, 09:25 PM   #181
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USA Today Snapshots

How Apps Can De-Stress The Holidays

Nearly 70% Of Adults Say Mobile Apps Help By:

52% Finding Shopping Deals.
46% Finding Faster Check Out Lines.
45% Helping Make Plans On The Go.
33% Sharing Pics Of Gifts They Want.
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Old 12-26-2012, 11:42 PM   #182
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Talking

The Blonde goes to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas Cards.

She says to the Clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas Stamps?"

The Clerk says, "What denomination?"

The Blonde says, "God help us. Has it come to this?"

"Give me 22 Lutheran, 12 Catholic, 10 Presbyterian and 6 Baptist."

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Old 01-16-2013, 10:08 PM   #183
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Warning !

Patting yourself on the back may cause you to dislocate your shoulder !
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Old 01-17-2013, 01:56 PM   #184
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Old 01-22-2013, 02:25 AM   #185
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Talking

In the Men's room at work, the Boss had placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it, "Think!"

The next day, when he went to the Men's room, he looked at the sign and right below, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read "Thoap!"
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Old 01-22-2013, 02:29 AM   #186
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Talking

Blonde to the X-ray technician after swallowing some money: "Do you see any change in me?"

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Old 01-28-2013, 10:06 PM   #187
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USA Today Snapshots 1.25.2013

How We'll Use Our Smartphones During Super Bowl 2013

26%. Text/Email/IM

21%. Post To Facebook/Twitter etc.

20%. Talk To Friends/Family

14%. Check Non-Super Bowl News.

13%. Re-watch Favorite Commercials.

For me, I'll be at my younger brother's house. Super Bowl party. He has one of those nice, big HD screen TVs.

I'll use my new iPhone 4 to check on opinions posted on GatorCountry about the game!
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Old 01-29-2013, 08:56 AM   #188
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They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if you don't go in for a regular check-up, you're bananas.
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Old 01-30-2013, 11:51 PM   #189
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USA Today Snapshots 1.29.2013

Have You Ever Hidden Purchases From Your Spouse/Partner ?

34% YES

66% NO
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Old 01-31-2013, 06:31 AM   #190
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66% of those polled at untruthful in responses to pollsters
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Old 01-31-2013, 09:30 AM   #191
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Mix pineapple juice and club soda, and you've got yourself a big bucket of crap.
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:09 PM   #192
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Historical Dates Of Fun & Interest

January

January 1st. New Year's Day.

Jan. 2, 1921. The play that coined the term "robot", "R.U.R." (Rossum's Universal Robots) by Karel Capek, was first performed in Czechoslovakia.
Jan. 2, 1983. The musical play "Annie" closed on Broadway after a run of 2,377 performances.

Jan. 3, 1938. The March of Dimes campaign to fight polio was established by President Franklin D. Roosevelt, who had been afflicted with the crippling disease.

Jan. 30, 1933. The first episode of "The Lone Ranger" radio program was broadcast on WXYZ in Detroit.
Jan. 30, 1973. The rock band Kiss performed their first show, at a club in Queens NY.

February

Feb. 1, 1862. "The Battle Hymn of the Republic", a poem by Julia Ward Howe, was published in the Atlantic Monthly.
Feb. 1, 1913. Grand Central Station opened in New York City.

February 2nd. Ground Hog Day.

Yes, as we have time we will post more dates of interest.
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Old 02-01-2013, 09:21 AM   #193
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You hear the expression "Lie like a dog" so much it is almost a cliché.
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Old 02-02-2013, 12:59 AM   #194
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Thursday 1.31.13 Tampa Tribune

Labrador Retriever Still Top Dog In USA

The American Kennel Club says the Labrador Retriever is the Nation's most popular dog for the 22nd straight year - for attributes that range from family-friendly pet to search-and-rescue nose.

The German Shepherd still commands the No. 2 Spot, according to the AKC Top 10 list released Wednesday. And the Golden Retriever has nudged out the Beagle for the No. 3 rung.

The Beagle is now fourth. The rest of the pack: Bulldog, Yorkshire Terrier, Boxer, Poodle, Rottweiler and Dachshund.
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Old 02-03-2013, 01:19 AM   #195
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Talking

Black Balls ???

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A young female student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse", he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly,

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely."

"Are - my - test - results - back ?"
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Old 02-04-2013, 08:33 AM   #196
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The day after Thanksgiving is, in my opinion, the biggest shopping day of the year.
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Old 02-05-2013, 01:18 AM   #197
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USA Today Snapshots 2.4.2013

The "Oldest Crowd" Is Growing Rapidly

Americans 85 And Over, In Millions

2011 5.0

2020 6.7

2030 8.9

2050 18.0

****

My Dad didn't make anywhere near 85, just 71 1/2.

My Mom made it to 93 and 10 months.

Not sure what that means for me.
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Old 02-05-2013, 08:49 AM   #198
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If they had a sponge that cleaned up broken dreams, Woolworth's would still be in business.
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Old 02-14-2013, 11:29 PM   #199
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Thursday 2.14.2013 Tampa Tribune

WHOOO Would Have Believed It?

Owl Hit By SUV Survives In Grill

The Owl Hitched A 150 Mile-Ride On The Florida Turnpike!

http://www2.tbo.com/news/offbeat/201...-gr-ar-633206/

Interesting story, no doubt about it. They think something may have distracted him because it was mating season.
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Old 02-24-2013, 11:22 PM   #200
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A couple of weekends ago I visited my older brother and his wife's home in Key West. While I was there I decided to take the Conch Tour around the island. And here was an interesting little fact the Guide gave out:

90 miles is the distance from Key West to Havana, Cuba. (yes, Ive known that one for a very long time).

128 miles is the distance from Key West to the nearest Mal-Mart! (probably it's in the southern part of Dade County on the mainland.)
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