One at a time

[exiledgator]

Anyone else experience this?

Over the years, I've seen a pattern in my marriage. I'll use the past 12 months as an example:

Last spring, I launched some projects around the house that really got me moving and I dropped 10 pounds in a month (215-205). Loving the results, I go back into an excercise groove after the projects and got down to almost 190 around Thanksgiving. The whole time, I gently nudged the mrs. to join me in eating more sensibly and adding more movement/exercise to our lives.

Well, she never joined. The Holidays hit and I was derailed. I've done OK and have only crept back up to 195, but have also lost some strength gains. Regardless, around late Feb / early March, she decides to go crazy and she's now down to almost what she weighed before our first kid (110lb - Yea for me!). Guess what - she's now trying to nudge me to join her, but I haven't.

Why? I want to. I'm sure she wanted to last summer/fall as is evidenced by her commitment this spring.

Is there some weird couple dynamic that keeps some from exercising together? I wonder if I should bother to figure it out or if we should just split the year in half and keep getting in better shape one at a time.

I have a coworker that goes thru the same exact thing. Any one else?

[Dreamliner]

Wish I could be of more help here. I weigh 3 pounds and my wife weighs 2 pounds.

Seriously though, my clients' spouses are not always onboard with them and they frequently have to go it alone. But this is not as daunting as it appears when you entertain a little perspective. Regardless spousal support, social support for weight-loss is never there when you need it. So, there is a sense in which you always have to go it alone.

Additionally, it is easy to understand why a person would not want to lose weight if they anticipate that such will be arduous or if they've lost in the past and gained it back.

[exiledgator]

LOL.

Yeah, thanks. It's not even that I view this as daunting as much as I see it as an interesting psychological phenomenon. I've only talked to one other person about this and they had the same experiences = both individuals (in the marriage) are interested and capable of getting in better shape, yet only one is ever activiely engaged in the needed behavior.

I'm pretty competitive by nature as is my coworker who's experiencing the same thing. I wonder if it's an avoidance of spousal competition or something?

I don't know, I'm really not looking to lie on the couch of GC for pyschoanalysis , just thought I'd throw it out there to see if any one else has seen or experienced this and what that was like - did they overcome - etc. I'd love to take a 20mile ride w/ my wife one day....

[Zendra]

Doing things as a couple is always highly suggested. It helps you better understand each other. But there are just some things that you just cannot do together all the time. This is just plainly what life is all about. Why don't you try to join her if you have the time? Take the first step. Who knows what will happen next?