Well, I got to visit a store today since I was asking about their basic instruction (waiting list out to June? There has to be a more efficient way to get shown my way around a gun), got to handle a few. A compact Smith & Wesson, not sure which model, the grip stopped a good half inch above the side of my hand. Just felt unwieldy. Glock 19 felt much more comfortable. I wanted to hold the Springfield XDM, but since I was just window shopping I didn't want to take them from possible buyers. On a funny note, the impractical sounding Taurus Judge that I thought looked cool in pictures looked completely ridiculous in the display case.
I think the next step is to find available lessons. Might window shop a bit more to handle some more for the comfort check. If I can't find something I think I could conceal comfortably, I will just find something that is comfortable that would keep me coming to the range and be suitable for home/car.
EDIT: didn't get to handle any revolvers, but held my hand up for scale. The ones I think would fit well in my hand, like a 686 for example, again seem like they would be more home/car than carry. It is still 66.66% more coverage than I have now from a defense standpoint, and a notable upgrade from the billy club I have kept in the car for years.