This is certainly not the sort of behavior for a modern household appliance. I donít have any great ideas or suggestions but just a couple of questions.
Are you setting the monitor using the Windows or Nvidia control panel? The latter seems to occasionally conflict with Windows from my very limited experience with it.
I assume the laptop has a function key that allows you to set the way the second monitor port is used. I assume there is no way that is being pressed or invoked, somehow?
It might be helpful for you to let the gentle and smart readers here know what version of Windows you are using.
Hopefully, one of them will give some good ideas of a resolution soon.