Is it girls, me, or bad luck?

[LoyalGatorFan]

I wanted to get the fellas opinion on something that irks me...do girls have a bad habit of ignoring or never responding back to texts/calls/facebook messages? Not all, but most of the single female friends in my life seem to either never respond to my messages or wait 2 or 3 days later to respond, and by then I had forgotten what the original text was even regarding.....whereas I can call up a guy friend on the spot without any advance notice and we can go out and chill at the bar or go to a game or what not....it just seems like girls are a lot harder to make plans with than guys are? Or is that just me?

[gatorknights]

Depends on how old the chicas are. Typically, and I fully admit there are exceptions (though rare), the younger gals, like in early to mid 20's, while nice to look at, are really fickle. I wouldn't read to much into it, and don't count out older chicks because they've been through the BS and don't buy into the games that the younger ones do.

To be fair, if the gals you are messaging are fairly attractive and/or popular, it may just be taking them that long to catch up with their messaging.

Oh who am I kidding. If they take days to respond, to heck with them.

Any chicas willing to lend some insight? Inquiring minds want to know.

[LoyalGatorFan]

Yes I just turned 28 and I tend to go for younger girls...as you said early to mid 20's...so maybe your right on the fickle thing....and the girl I am interested in right now is very attractive (to go with your catching up on messaging theory) and works full time and goes to school....so maybe those 3 things combined is why it takes her a day or two to respond....but my main annoyance with all of this is that if they arent interested, I wish they would just tell me so I could move on.....

[TheGator]

Hmmm. Sad to say, I think it is you.

I have learned if a girl is interested, they usually respond quickly. If not, move on to the next.

If a girl is really interested, then you will be the one responding to her all the time.

[mapagator]

What you are missing is the connection that comes from personal contact, not texting. Texting becomes the secondary avenue to "talk" but only after you establish the relationship via in person talking. If you invest the time to have the in person contact you'll know if she's really interested and then she'll look forward to your texts - and it won't take days for her to respond.

[LoyalGatorFan]

What you are missing is the connection that comes from personal contact, not texting. Texting becomes the secondary avenue to "talk" but only after you establish the relationship via in person talking. If you invest the time to have the in person contact you'll know if she's really interested and then she'll look forward to your texts - and it won't take days for her to respond.


Well thats the thing...I am trying to get in contact with her to go out so I can talk to her in person lol....and this isn't some random girl...I have known her for a few years but I never pursued her because one of us was usually dating someone at the time

[Emmitto]

Hmmm. Sad to say, I think it is you.

I have learned if a girl is interested, they usually respond quickly. If not, move on to the next.

If a girl is really interested, then you will be the one responding to her all the time.

Daaaaaamn!!! Tough love!

Regrettably, I agree (generally.)

[LoyalGatorFan]

Daaaaaamn!!! Tough love!

Regrettably, I agree (generally.)


Hahahaha no worries...that could be very well be the case....I posted this topic expecting encouraging advice with not so encouraging...I like hearing both sides and different viewpoints....

[TheGator]

Also, one rule I always use. Never text more than once without a reply back. If you send more than 2 or 3 texts without a response, then it doesn't look good for you. You also may push her away because you are too interested.

It is possible, she missed the text the first time. If she wants to talk to you, she will check the texts and respond back. In my experience, it is usually still within a few hours if she is interested.

[LoyalGatorFan]

Also, one rule I always use. Never text more than once without a reply back. If you send more than 2 or 3 texts without a response, then it doesn't look good for you. You also may push her away because you are too interested.

It is possible, she missed the text the first time. If she wants to talk to you, she will check the texts and respond back. In my experience, it is usually still within a few hours if she is interested.

Definitely agree on this one....I think there is a fine line between showing interest and being a pest...it just sux playing the waiting game waiting for a reply back...I guess Tom Petty was right....

[Emmitto]

Hahahaha no worries...that could be very well be the case....I posted this topic expecting encouraging advice with not so encouraging...I like hearing both sides and different viewpoints....

Well the caveat might be the extreme schedule you described. In your texts, have you actually said you're interested in a real date? Or is it the same tone she's been seeing for years? Perhaps she doesn't recognize the new paradigm you're pursuing.

[Jaggator]

How to find a date writing & responding advice... :grin:


Gentlemen,

Here are some words of semi-wisdom from a real live 30-something woman on how to up your chances that a real, live woman will respond to your post.

1. She probably won’t. That’s right – women really do rule the roost here. Respond to her post. But…

2. If you are up for a challenge and can write funny (you know who you are), then you definitely have an advantage.

3. If you’re not sure whether or not you can write funny, you can’t. See points below.

4. Stop whining about getting spam. You are a man posting on CL. You will get spam. Deal.

5. Put your age in your ad.

6. If you’re a man 25 years or younger, go to a bar and get rejected in person. It builds character.

7. Unless a woman asks you to send you a picture of your penis, refrain from emailing or putting this type of picture in your post. I believe there is this thing called “internet porn” (perhaps you have heard about it) where I can look at all the penises I want to.

8. The “I wonder if he is a serial killer” photo. Oh, you know what I’m talking about. The photo shot of your bare torso in the mirror sans head. Id rather see no picture at all because all I can think about is “It rubs the lotion on it’s skin or else it gets the hose again” from The Silence of the Lambs. But if you are looking to give off the serial killer vibe, then you’re on the right track!

9. HEADLINES IN ALL CAPS will only get you noticed because its f**king annoying. Lets look at an example. FACE DOWN ,ASS Up and let me HANDLE it. Oh, yes, I'm all over that. It made me really hot that you apparently don't know where a comma should go. Oh yeah baby.

10. For all you $$ generous guys out there your prices are way too low, especially if you want that hot college coed. $2000/month for up for 4-5 times a month is a good market value price to begin with. And, no, I am not a pro.

11. Speaking of non-pro only did I miss the day where people stopped using the word hooker or is that just a sly enough euphemism so that your post wont get removed? Does this mean that us non-pros are not pros in the bedroom because youre not paying for sex? ;)

8A. You write defensively and are mad as hell and are not going to take it anymore. Example: “I’m a hot guy with really high standards. I make a lot of money. What is up with all the fat chicks here? Im so sick of this $hit. If you email me, send my your stats AND a picture. I mean, I’m a hot guy.” And blah, blah blah…
Gee, I like nothing more than going out with someone who is angry, defensive and who is incredibly sexually frustrated. Good times!

If you are that bent out of shape, call a hooker. Nothing wrong with that, as long as you’re safe. I’ll save the “non-pro only” commentary for another time.

9A. Run spell check, use apostrophes (e.g., “ur” instead of “your or you’re”) and there’s this thing called a space bar that should have come with your computer – use it.

10A. Women will most likely not list their weight in a post. Swap photos in the first or second email exchange. If she’s reluctant to send a picture, this could be a red flag or she may not know how to use any basic computer program where she can send a photo showing her body type without her face. Come to think of it, this could be a red flag as well.

11. There are no real 18-22 year old women who post here. I know this comes as a shock. Take a couple of deep breaths. It will be okay.

12. Avoid the use of the following phrases and words: Asian pearl (are you kidding me?!) and Yearning for Asian poontang (even if I was Asian, I would want you as far away from my poontang as possible).

Happy hunting!

Location: Hampton Roads
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

[FoxGator]

Instead of trying to ask her out directly, you could just send a text that states that you are going to be at a certain place at a certain time and that it would be great to see her there. This kind of text does not require a response and it's not like an actual date invitation, but it could result in actually getting together.

[vaxcardinal]

You said your texting her but are you actually using a phone to do that? If so, any reason you dont actually call her and talk to her? Then you'll find out the real answer to your question

[gator7_5]

Man, I'm only 37, but this thread makes me feel old. WAYYYY back in my day, if you wanted to get a girl, you found a way to see her face to face. Dating through text has to be a real pain in the ass.

Think outside the box. I had a puppy and was trying to find a way to date a girl I had met and was extremely interested in. I found out she happened to have a puppy, too. I stopped by her house (I didn't call her) to see if she wanted to have a puppy play date. December 22 was our 5th yr wedding anniversary.

Basically, quit texting and make a real move.

Just my .02.

[gator7_5]

Yes I just turned 28 and I tend to go for younger girls...as you said early to mid 20's...so maybe your right on the fickle thing....and the girl I am interested in right now is very attractive (to go with your catching up on messaging theory) and works full time and goes to school....so maybe those 3 things combined is why it takes her a day or two to respond....but my main annoyance with all of this is that if they arent interested, I wish they would just tell me so I could move on.....

You have a mututal friend? Have them have a get together and make sure you both get invited.

Oh, and wish they would tell you if they aren't interested? haha. If a girl has to tell you she isn't interested, you're in trouble. That sign should be extremely obvious. Well, maybe not by text.

[TheGator]

Man, I'm only 37, but this thread makes me feel old. WAYYYY back in my day, if you wanted to get a girl, you found a way to see her face to face. Dating through text has to be a real pain in the ass.

Think outside the box. I had a puppy and was trying to find a way to date a girl I had met and was extremely interested in. I found out she happened to have a puppy, too. I stopped by her house (I didn't call her) to see if she wanted to have a puppy play date. December 22 was our 5th yr wedding anniversary.

Basically, quit texting and make a real move.

Just my .02.

:laugh::laugh:

I am 40 and still dating. Unfortunately, the rules have changed for dating. Like it or not, texting is they way most people are communicating. Yes it is less personal, but such is life in the electronic age.

I assume it will only get worse. I rarely call on the phone most people I know on a personal basis. Who has time to call? With texting, you can text all day if you want and still be productive at work. :yes:

[gator7_5]

:laugh::laugh:

I am 40 and still dating. Unfortunately, the rules have changed for dating. Like it or not, texting is they way most people are communicating. Yes it is less personal, but such is life in the electronic age.

I assume it will only get worse. I rarely call on the phone most people I know on a personal basis. Who has time to call? With texting, you can text all day if you want and still be productive at work. :yes:

I text all day. My family, my freinds, my subs, my clients.. Even occasionally my wife, but I call her unless I know she can't talk.

Fact is, texting is impersonal. You can't read inflections in a text.

If I were going out tonight and I liked a girl, I sure as hell wouldn't be texting her to see if she wanted to get a drink.

Again, just my .02.

[LoyalGatorFan]

Well the caveat might be the extreme schedule you described. In your texts, have you actually said you're interested in a real date? Or is it the same tone she's been seeing for years? Perhaps she doesn't recognize the new paradigm you're pursuing.


Yes I definitely told her I was interested..and she said she was interested in me too...she told me that it takes a while to respond to all of her friends so at this point im giving her the benefit of the doubt....I just hope I didnt mention something in my texts that turned her off...and Im pretty sure I didnt....I guess I'l just play the waiting game through the weekend and go from there....

[gator7_5]

If you told her you're interested, and she did too, I assume you have had some kind of date or face to face contact on multiple occasions? Wait, every convo you've had hasn't been through text has it?

[LoyalGatorFan]

If you told her you're interested, and she did too, I assume you have had some kind of date or face to face contact on multiple occasions? Wait, every convo you've had hasn't been through text has it?

Correct...we went out once last weekend and we both "seemed to hit it off"....I think I just have to get used to the fact that she doesnt respond to her texts right away, whereas most of my friends do....it just takes some getting used to I suppose....Im curious what were you going to say if I had said yes to your last question? lol.....I mean initially our convos were only through text because how else was I supposed to get her to go out with me without talking to her first....

[gator7_5]

Correct...we went out once last weekend and we both "seemed to hit it off"....I think I just have to get used to the fact that she doesnt respond to her texts right away, whereas most of my friends do....it just takes some getting used to I suppose....Im curious what were you going to say if I had said yes to your last question? lol.....I mean initially our convos were only through text because how else was I supposed to get her to go out with me without talking to her first....

Did you meet her in the gym, at a party, etc, or through cyberspace?

[Emmitto]

Yes I definitely told her I was interested..and she said she was interested in me too...she told me that it takes a while to respond to all of her friends so at this point im giving her the benefit of the doubt....I just hope I didnt mention something in my texts that turned her off...and Im pretty sure I didnt....I guess I'l just play the waiting game through the weekend and go from there....

I see. Well that sounds more promising. Benefit of the doubt, for a while, is the way to go. Not being elevated to "first responder" status is a little shaky, but I'm sure the situation will clear itself up soon.

So for now I'll change my opinion from "It's you!" to "It's girls!"

Good luck!

[FrankGator627]

If she said she's interested, then she's interested. She sounds like she has a busy life and dudes that only text aren't going to get much notice.

She's probably asking her friends if the fact that you only text her means you're not really interested.

Find out her schedule, call her when you know she isn't working and tell her you plan on seeing her Friday night for dinner. Don't even ask if she's free.

[LoyalGatorFan]

Did you meet her in the gym, at a party, etc, or through cyberspace?

I met her at one of my old jobs...I am an athletic trainer and I was working at the school she went to...

[Sylez_G_Koolaid]

What kinda swag you got, son?

[GatoRella]

What kinda swag you got, son?

Not enough I fear. But its time to fake it.

Give her a call and see if she wants to do dinner this weekend. If she doesnt respond, its time to play he who cares least.

[gator7_5]

Yeah, basically, NO WOMAN is too busy for a guy she likes.

[gator1986]

Girls are crazy. The hotter they get, they crazier they get. Girls have learned to play mind games like guys, you have to learn to be one step ahead of them. They might say its not true but girls like things they " can't" have. It's a fact, it's true, and backed by my studies. My girlfriend now, is absolutely beautiful, works full time, goes to school full time, she tried playing girl mind games on me, I was one step ahead the whole way and she fell in love with it. She says all the time " I hate this I'm used to just getting what I want " I say " well that sucks huh " lol. Anyways girls are like guys in the way that they will just simply say I'm not interested. Girls literally know within the first 30 seconds if they want you, or if they don't. Also keep in mind just because she simply doesn't answer or doesn't call or text right away does NOT mean she is not into. Play the game with her my friend, act like you don't give a shit, because well your a guy and your not suppose to until you know it's the one. This is all my opinion, based on my life experiences. I played the field literally my whole life until a little while ago, and being an asshole to 100 girls, brought me one finally that I wouldn't trade. Hope this helps!

[UFNut]

I wanted to get the fellas opinion on something that irks me...do girls have a bad habit of ignoring or never responding back to texts/calls/facebook messages? Not all, but most of the single female friends in my life seem to either never respond to my messages or wait 2 or 3 days later to respond, and by then I had forgotten what the original text was even regarding.....whereas I can call up a guy friend on the spot without any advance notice and we can go out and chill at the bar or go to a game or what not....it just seems like girls are a lot harder to make plans with than guys are? Or is that just me?

So, I'm confused...after reading this, I thought you were talking about "just friends" girls, since you were comparing them to your bros. After reading through the thread, it sounds like these are girls you're trying to date. Obviously girls you're trying to get dates with are going to act different, then a dude who you are texting to grab a beer. Even guys I've heard talk about stupid rules on how long to wait to respond to a girl after a date or encounter, etc. This isn't just chicks, guys do it too. I think it's stupid, I just respond back if I have the chance, myself.

On the other hand, I have seen a message before and made a mental note to call/text back, and totally forgot about it, actually I do that a lot more than I'd like to admit. Especially if I think it's gonna be a long boring phone call.

[LoyalGatorFan]

So, I'm confused...after reading this, I thought you were talking about "just friends" girls, since you were comparing them to your bros. After reading through the thread, it sounds like these are girls you're trying to date. Obviously girls you're trying to get dates with are going to act different, then a dude who you are texting to grab a beer. Even guys I've heard talk about stupid rules on how long to wait to respond to a girl after a date or encounter, etc. This isn't just chicks, guys do it too. I think it's stupid, I just respond back if I have the chance, myself.

On the other hand, I have seen a message before and made a mental note to call/text back, and totally forgot about it, actually I do that a lot more than I'd like to admit. Especially if I think it's gonna be a long boring phone call.

Sorry for the confusion....yes my OP was about girls in general (my girl friends) and then I think either I mentioned or someone else asked me in another post if it was regarding a girl I was interested in....and also thank you for the advice...

[kkg8r]

Hmmm. Sad to say, I think it is you.

I have learned if a girl is interested, they usually respond quickly. If not, move on to the next.

If a girl is really interested, then you will be the one responding to her all the time.

This. Same goes for guys. If someone is interested, they do not eff around.

[FearNoSpear]

Definitely agree on this one....I think there is a fine line between showing interest and being a pest...it just sux playing the waiting game waiting for a reply back...I guess Tom Petty was right....

He always is

[Gatuar]

She's just not that into you

Text message revolutionized dating...It came along during the tail end of my dating career and I thought it was a useful tool easier than that first awkward phone convo

[Spurffelbow833]

Yes I just turned 28 and I tend to go for younger girls...as you said early to mid 20's...so maybe your right on the fickle thing....and the girl I am interested in right now is very attractive (to go with your catching up on messaging theory) and works full time and goes to school....so maybe those 3 things combined is why it takes her a day or two to respond....but my main annoyance with all of this is that if they arent interested, I wish they would just tell me so I could move on.....

If you're into younger girls, I have a can't-miss plan.

1) Age yourself 20 years
2) Get filthy rich

[vaxcardinal]

since it appears that texting has replaced actual face-to-face communication, are the plans to also just stick with sexting?

[supagator]

Hmmm. Sad to say, I think it is you.

I have learned if a girl is interested, they usually respond quickly. If not, move on to the next.

If a girl is really interested, then you will be the one responding to her all the time.

You are so right!

[romeg8r]

She's just not that in to you

[oragator1]

There are two types of women, ones you get through showering with attention and ones you get by ignoring or treating "badly".
This girl is either the latter or she doesn't like you, either way your actions probably aren't helping your cause. Sorry.

[Al E Gator]

Yes I definitely told her I was interested...

Game over, my friend. This is like Notre Dame standing in the tunnel watching the Bama players strolling out...game was over before it even started. Put this in the "L" column. No BCS Championship, man.

Doesn't matter what she said feigning "interest" in you. It's her ACTIONS that prove she likes you, not what she says. Women say all kinds of stuff...it's what they do that gives you the clear answer.

No biggie, though. Just keep moving on, learn, and keep working on your shot!...the more shots you take, the better you get!

[madgator]

I wanted to get the fellas opinion on something that irks me...do girls have a bad habit of ignoring or never responding back to texts/calls/facebook messages? Not all, but most of the single female friends in my life seem to either never respond to my messages or wait 2 or 3 days later to respond, and by then I had forgotten what the original text was even regarding.....whereas I can call up a guy friend on the spot without any advance notice and we can go out and chill at the bar or go to a game or what not....it just seems like girls are a lot harder to make plans with than guys are? Or is that just me?


yes....it seems like girls. Especially ones under 25 will just stop a good text conversation literally at any time.

like they get distracted. they don't even say, "hey gotta run." they just stop....then like hours or days later will respond out of nowhere.


it's not you

[LoyalGatorFan]

yes....it seems like girls. Especially ones under 25 will just stop a good text conversation literally at any time.

like they get distracted. they don't even say, "hey gotta run." they just stop....then like hours or days later will respond out of nowhere.


it's not you

^This....it might still be me but the whole disappearing act is definitely spot on...never understood that...like what do they think we are doing? They have to know we are wondering what happened to them.....

[gator10010]

^This....it might still be me but the whole disappearing act is definitely spot on...never understood that...like what do they think we are doing? They have to know we are wondering what happened to them.....

How often are you texting this girl? Are you marathon texting all day? If so she may just need a break from the mind numbing text conversation.

If a girl is interested, she responds quickly. The fact that you're on a message board asking what is this girl's problem already tells me you know the answer, you just don't like the answer.

[LoyalGatorFan]

How often are you texting this girl? Are you marathon texting all day? If so she may just need a break from the mind numbing text conversation.

If a girl is interested, she responds quickly. The fact that you're on a message board asking what is this girl's problem already tells me you know the answer, you just don't like the answer.



No its not even close to marathon texting....it's once or twice every other day...she has responded a couple times, and other times she hasn't....and while I appreciate everyone's input, I'm not sure bringing this topic on a message board really helps that much because everyone seems to have differing opinions....which I guess just further supports the theory that men will never understand women :)