Bad Omens and Kitty Litter writes Fee Bartley

There is this animated gif where UFC Fighter Rampage Jackson is kicking, punching and absolutely destroying a door. After watching the LSU Game replay I really felt like imitating that. There were lots of missed opportunities in a great effort. Guys should not hang their heads nor feel bad about losing to the No. 5 team in the country but it sure would have been nice beating them. There is this thing called #CONTEXT and #PERSPECTIVE we all must struggle to hold onto. They are often the first things lost to emotion but should pull you back to reality. That is unless you’re a FSU fan then nothing helps.

Jim McElwain’s Sunday statement to the team wrote itself; “Men, I want you to watch this film and think of what happens if we do the little things. We are those things away from beating the No. 5 team and the probable Heisman trophy winner in their house.” Outstanding effort from the guys in a close loss but still feel like giving that door a once over; less consequences than punching a baby. [I kid! I kid!]

How do you fall for the banana in the tail pipe?

Ok! Away with the touchy feely, rational, positive stuff and to why I really want a go at that door. HOW DO YOU FALL FOR THE BANNNA IN THE TAIL PIPE? (Les Miles Trick plays) THE GUYS NICK NAME IS “THE MAD HATTER.” Mythbusters episode 15 definitely proved it should be impossible. How does it happen? Leslie Miles is wildly known for doing less with more and calling trick plays. (I meant “wildly” not “widely.” It ain’t no typo!) Does man bite dawg? Does the scorpion sting the frog? Trick plays and underperforming with great athletes is what he does! I’m sitting here watching them get set up for the field goal thinking “ End man on the line “SEEMS” to be playing safe, we should be good on a fake. “
“WRONG!” [IN MY BEST CHARLIE MURPHY VOICE]
I look down at my phone at a text from a friend. The text reads, “You know he gonna fake one of those on you.” I look up the end man rushes and the friggin kicker is running in the end zone. DAYUM YOU JONATHAN PERRY AND LESLIE MILES! Malefactor is the least offensive noun I am screaming just as my return text to Jonathan is un-postable. He texts that same text to me every year, every special teams play and every time we play LSU. Totally broken clock scenario. As I am cleaning up my mess of spilled Bud Light and remnants of a trough of snacks, they zoom in on Mac as he’s watching the big screen and clapping. I guarantee the censors would develop cramps pushing the bleep button if you could log into my thoughts. He seems composed, as he has to calmly reassure the fellas. However, I bet the four word carnival in his head was immense at that moment. OK Mac. He got ya! Make this your one and only elsewise it’s a Bushism:”… fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.”

Treon Harris & Offense

Treon played well but not enough to win. He played outstanding in some situations and poorly in others, inclusive of the last two series. Don’t get the thought that I am blaming this loss on Treon. 17/32 for 271, two TD’s plus 20 yards rushing and NO TURNOVERS against that defense isn’t anything to sneeze at. That secondary might be the best in college football. There are a few issues that need to be corrected and some we simply have to adjust for. I just cannot get over him holding balls. Guys will be breaking open short and you can see him looking at them but he just won’t let it fly. It has little to do with height as it happens on rollouts as well. Quarterbacks throw through lanes, not over linemen. Height has an affect but not the major factor some make. In my opinion it just looks like he gets overly conservative at times, does not trust his reads, arm or over thinks it. Yet, he turns around and sits in the pocket, spins a strike over the middle to Robinson right before he gets plastered. You sit there in a long “what the hell” moment wondering, “Where has that been and why don’t we see more?

Guess when you look at it, took about two full games and three quarters of “live” game play and film review for Mac/Nuss to get the major lumps and bumps out of Grier’s system to where he was stepping up in the pocket and letting plays develop. It’s a process as this entire year has been. We are unfortunately restarting the process a bit at the quarterback spot, as we start tailoring the offense to Treon’s strengths. I don’t see Treon snapping it off like Grier but I see greater verticality in throws and use of his legs. I’m looking forward to improvement but Saturday was a good performance overall for a kid that has not played meaningful snaps against SEC competition in a year.

After the above critique you can’t go any further without discussing the offensive line, which is still a work in progress and developing, but working very well as a group. Right now we have more moving parts and pieces than you should in a top-tier program. However, let’s remember where we were in the spring and that it is an absolute miracle to be where we are. Yes we had some losses up front, but that’s to be expected. The line gave Treon some good passing lanes and protection. The run blocking was disappointing and should have been better, but that goes with the physical development in a process. The game plan was outstanding assisting the line and quarterback. The line needs to keep improving and the quarterback has to assist his oline by planting his foot in the ground and getting the ball out quicker as he learns to step up in the pocket.

While I like Kelvin Taylor and still believe he is our lead dog, I’m feeling this thing about not interrupting his flow isn’t working. Kelvin’s a good back at downhill running and cutting back but, at times, it seems we need a change of pace and a back with a tad more speed to get the linebackers and safeties really flowing to the outside. Pass blocking is Important but so is utilizing the pieces you have. As stated, the offensive line needs to do a better job creating space but different defenses need to be attacked differently. Yet, with this staff you just sit back and enjoy the x and o chess match as they find what each kid does well.

Callaway! Just wow o wow! He and Powell are going to be something going forward. You watch him fight for that ball from Treon and you honestly believe he makes that play nine out of ten times. The defensive back did a hell of a job of getting that ball it out. We had a Demarcus Robinson sighting again. It’s shocking he leads the team in receiving yards and catches as quiet as he has been. The FROSH have stolen a lot of his thunder. However, the star of the receiving group this week has to be Jake McGee. He is like that little blue blankee Linus is fixated on; security personified, two touchdowns for the day and a mismatch every time he was targeted. Kind a funny our receivers being one of the brightest spots of the roster after the offensive purgatory we have lived through.

You have to be pleased, despite the change at quarterback, about where our offense is. No use moaning, groaning and playing the “what if” game about if Grier had played. He will be back hopefully next year once his appeal is granted. For our guys to go into Death Valley and perform at that level you have to be proud. The staff put them in every position to succeed and they responded admirably. This aint Will Muschamp’s offense. This is competency, aggressiveness and good coaching back on this side of the ball. We just need to make some of the plays we missed and develop a little help from the running game and we are more than competitive against any defense we play.

Defense

Did we expect the guys to shut down Fournett? No. Did we expect them to limit and frustrate him? YES?

What happened to that crazy Geoff Collins we knew and loved in the first half? I was expecting all kinds of exotic fronts, stunts, slants, run blitzes, kitchen sinks and disruptive tactics to get Fournett running sideways and gang tackling. In the first half Collins played straighter than we have become used to or expected. Was it prior history that caused the caution? I don’t know, but in the second half he reverted to form and the guys frustrated Fournette to the point he was swinging at tacklers helmets, calling it a stiff arm. This defensive staffs’ second half adjustments have been outstanding, albeit for this game a quarter too late. That second quarter might have been the worst quarter of defense played here in decades second only to the midline debacle, and tied with 2013 Alabama. I think the injury to Joey Ivey hurt us in our rotations and base defense but that second quarter was head shaking.

I’ll tell you what, Maye and Neal had a WHOOOLE lot of “Business Decisions” to make. To their credit, and nothing I did not expect, they stuck their heads in there for four quarters tackling a moving wall in Fournett. That was nothing like tackling that wrapped blue tire in practice. There were times I found myself screaming at the TV “Just hold on they coming.” Toughness is not the measure of a guy that wins all battles but is exemplified by the guy that loses one or two, even embarrassingly, but continues to come just as hard and fast after the loss. You can sit on your couch and scream bad tackling all day but it’s real easy from a couch. EVERYONE loses a tackling battle at one point if you play the game long enough. Jerome Bettis says hello.

I was expecting what we did in the second half the entire game — force Brandon Harris to beat us. I’m looking at the stats at 13/19 for 202 and you would think he did. However, when you take away the Hail Mary, the flea flicker (a pass I have no idea why Maye did not pick) and Harris did little. The point is when you call yourself DBU you don’t get to take away those throws and use that moniker.

Special Teams

Outstanding Kickoff Return by Callaway. It got us back in the game and changed momentum on a dime. We have way too many great athletes to be average on special teams especially in the return and coverage phases. Guess we get to find out what’s up with Hardin, but it’s kind of funny we are having open tryouts for kickers. I just don’t get how hard it is to find a good kicker with all the soccer leagues in this state.

Closing Rant

This was classic SEC Football, everything the PC police and participation trophy fanatics hate and why Lil Johnny is on the bench. Two groups of savage Neanderthals at the line of scrimmage fighting, biting, and scratching to hold or advance; concussions protocols be damned. And yet, the tale of the day was a flea flicker, a Hail Mary pass at the end of the half, near catch in the end zone and that dayum fake kick. There is nothing in this loss for anyone to hold their heads down about or not be excited about the future of this program. We all know its part of a process and the exciting part is we are well ahead of the curve. Our Guys played hard and left it on the field. We will continue to develop as the season progresses and most likely see this team again if we handle our business. Two weeks of healing, tweaks and planning as we get ready for Da Mutts. Not happy about the loss but proud of the effort. The doors in my house are safe for now and hope this week was the only one that elicit that impulse.
#GreatToBe

Ephesians Bartley
Former Gator linebacker Ephesians “Fee” Bartley defined the 1990 season for the Florida defense when he laid out LSU wide receiver Todd Kinchen near midfield on the West sideline of Florida Field. The entire crowd stood silent as Kinchen lay motionless on the turf. It wasn’t until someone shouted, “He’s alive! I can see the spit bubbles in the corner of his mouth!” that the crowd breathed a sigh of relief. An All-SEC linebacker in 1991 who spent a year in the NFL and a few more in the CFL, Bartley runs a business and tax consulting firm in Jacksonville but he’s never lost his passion for Florida football.

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